Shower Farts are the Worst

Ok I know where you are taking this in your head. No this is not a blog about actual shower farts, but it is a lesson to be learned.   Some who read this story already know it, some of you don't. I will not name names but I will tell the truth. Bear with me for this does have a point and I will try to reach it quickly.

Every have that feeling when your in the shower, you know the one. Your washing your hair or face and your stomach gurgles and you just know you have to fart. You tell yourself, "I am not going to fart in the shower its the worst kind. I can hold it. I can wait. Just a few more minutes." Then without warning it comes out and there you are standing there coughing and choking on your own gases. Your eyes water, you half kill yourself jumping out of the shower to turn the fan on. Opening the door doesn't help it just creates a cold hurricane force wind from the bowels of the arctic to blow it all back in your face.

I have come to the conclusion that we have people like this in our lives. We meet, we hang out. I help you, you help me. Its a nice dance of pleasantries and friendship. Your kids hang together and everyone is happy. While you are having this whirl wind fast growing friendship you dont stop to pay attention to the "grumbling" in your stomach. You push it aside, you tell yourself its nothing.

Later you think back to that grumble but cant figure out why you had it. Months go by and everything is find then all of a sudden you feel the grumble. This time you know something is up. You try to talk and you get no answer, you try to interact you get no response. You are trying to hold on to this Fart of a friendship, but realize that once you let go you are going to tear up, choke and open that door to make it better.  We all know that's not the answer, we all know from experience that opening the door will bring the whirlwind of cold pain.

I did just that. I tried and helped and never asked for anything in return. I knew they had nothing to give yet I still did the things I did. I did everything I could to try and believe this was a real thing. When I got shut out, when no one would talk, when I was told I didn't matter. I realized that not only was this a Giant Shower Fart but also a pile of Shit.

So I did what I should of done a long time ago. I let it all out. However, I played it smart and you should too. Turn the fan on first and double flush all the shit down the drain. That is all they are and all they will amount to be. Be Free you gassy pile of shit, Be Free