Life in the way

                    I have always been a person who likes to keep up with people. I like to know what they are doing with their lives and I like knowing where they are headed. Some might call me nosy but I call myself curious. It is always exciting when you get reconnected with a friend and you have so much to talk about and then the worst possible thing happens. Your reunion gets cut short for what ever reason and you promise to keep in touch and you do, for a while. Then one day you realize you haven't talked to so-n-so in a few weeks. You tell yourself you will call this friend as soon as you get a free moment. Then that free moment gets here and you don't want to talk to anyone, so you tell yourself you will call tomorrow. Now I know people have the right intention to call or in this day Facebook but for some reason or another we sometimes fall out of touch and never pick it up. For some people it is harder to do then others. Maybe you let so much time go by that now you feel you cant call because you may have nothing in common any more. Then again it might have nothing to do with time but with a heavy heart or conscious, maybe you did something or vice-versa and the consequence has been hard to bare.

                   For what ever reason you have lost touch, maybe you should look at yourself and ask yourself, was it really worth it to lose touch with this friendship. If it wasn't worth it then ask yourself what you need to do to get it back. I am a person who will keep a friend forever as long as they don't cross the boundaries I have set out. I don't allow heavy drinking or any drug use around my children, and my husband is off limits. Other then that we are cool. I take everything with a grain of salt and if you cross a boundary I will politely put you in your place. However there have been a few people who have crossed this line more then once and I have written them off. Am I happy I did this? No. Will I do it again? I'm sure. I understand no one is perfect and I am no one to judge anybody but this is my life and I allow you to be in it. Wow that came out sounding bitchier then I thought it would.

                    Could you just imagine how many people would leave you behind if you told them the truth. I mean just think of yourself standing in front of a friend you has crossed you and you tell them "This is my life and I am allowing you to be in it, so behave of I am locking you out of it." Oh well, right? I mean are you suppose to walk on egg shells just because you don't want to hurt a persons feelings. However that doesn't mean you can be a flat out A-hole or Bitch to a person and think they will forgive you. If that is your idea of friendship then I would hate to meet the kids you grew up with.

                      Growing up I didn't have a lot of friends but what I did have was a few really good friendships. Even though we don't see each other everyday we still take time during the week to say Hi. Facebook helps but sometime you just need to pick up the phone and tell this person that "You are still an important part of my life and I have always and will always cherish our friendship." It is a simple statement but just think how hard it is to say it to someone you haven't talked to in a long time. Try it one day and post me a comment and let me know how it went. You might just surprise your friend and yourself.

A Change in Pace

So I have decided to make a change in pace in this life. I have come to the conclusion that while everyone else is living everyday to the fullest they can, I am standing still. I am willing and able to go out and grab life by the horns, the problem is that I have stood here for so long that I no longer know which foot to start with and in which direction I should go. I have been to school, received a diploma, graduated Alpha Beta Kappa, and raised 3 awesome kids. Now that I able to do me, I feel lost. I have a wide range of skills I can use, I just cant remember which ones I could use to benefit my life to the fullest. Some of my favorite times was when I was in my teenage years and didn't have to worry about the consequences. Now that I am married and have kids I feel I need to play it safe, but I think I am playing a little too safe. I need to remove the padding and helmet and face what is left of this life head on. What brought me to this decision you ask, well I have recently had to support a close friend whose brother passed away from stage 4 cancer. He was only 33. I hate to say I am the cliche and that having to go through this opened my eyes, but it really did. I just hope it is not to late to realize my potential in what I can accomplish and go out and do it. I am starting a new life with the new year and Damn It I am going to do it right this time. No more excuses, no more reasons, just do as I need and do as I want and to hell with anyone else who disagrees.

For Those Who Have Lost

I regret the fact you went away

I regret the time we didn’t have

I regret the laughs we missed each day

I regret the fact that you went away.

I regret I can hold you no more

I regret I cant sing you a song

I regret not looking in your eyes

I regret the overbearing good – bye

I don’t regret the time we had

I don’t regret the laughs we shared

I don’t regret the funny things you said

I don’t regret holding you while you lie in bed

I hate the fact you left

I hate the fact you had pain

I hate the fact you suffered

However there will be a day I see you again.